JOKE TIME!

JOKE TIME! (U-LOL)

Ano bah! Bakit ba ako na lang palagi pinag-iinitan n’yo?

Answer: Takure

Taong mahilig magmagic, Magickero. Taong nambabasura: Basurero, Taong palagi nasa gimik: Gimikero, Taong palagi nasa kanto:

Answer: Tambay

Kapag mayaman: Pneumonia, Kapag mahirap:

Answer: TB

Mabuhok, matigas, labas-pasok sa madilim na butas.

Answer:Toothbrush

Bakit mas matalino ang lalake kaysa sa babae? Kasi dalawa ang kangyang

Answer:Ulo

Anong katabi ng USA?

Answer: USB

Hindi ko hinahangad an ipagmalaki mo na ako’y sayo. Ayoko lang naman na sa harap ng maraming tao, ganun mo nlng ako itanggi.

Answer: Utot

Anong animal and nagsusuot ng bra?

Answer: Zebra

Ano may sabi? Kapag ang katawan mo’y nag-iinit, lagi na lang ako ang hinahanap mo. Maya’t maya mo akong ginagamit at pinapagod, hindi ka na naawa! 

Answer: Aircon

Pagod na akong humawak ng balls mo! Pagod na rin ako sa pagbihis-hubad mo sa akin. Malapit na naman ulit! Ayoko na!

Answer: Christmas tree

Bugtong: Labas pasok gabi man o umaga. Ililalabas ko aking karga. Babae man ang pumasok sa akin o lalaki, ako ay walang pinipili.

Answer: Elevator

Bugtong: Iba iba sukat ng butas ko. Pag di maganda pakiramdam ko, ako ay tumutulo. Nasasarapan ka pagkinakalikot mo ako.

Answer: Ilong

Ano ang masarap sa itlog?

Answer: Kamutin

Itulak at hilahin, sigurado ang kain. 

Answer: Lagari

Ano ang nabibili mo sa tindahan na di mo nahahawakan?

Answer:  Load

Kung ang tagalog ng calculator ay talapindutan ng numero, ano naman ang tagalog ng typewriter?

Answer: Makinilya

Mabuhok na mabilog. Masara ito. Naglalaman ng putting likido.

Answer: Niyog

Bugtong: Pag-aari mo, dala-dala mo datapwa’t madalas gamitin ng iba kesa sayo.

Answer: Pangalan

Kung ang gumagapang sa aso ay garapata,  sa buhok naman ay kuto, ano naman ang sa kabayo?

Answer: Plantsa

Hindi totoong anak ko si Bakekang! At lalong hindi ko kapatid si Mike Enriquez! Kaya pwede ba tigilan na ang tsismis na yan!

Answer: Shrek

Pinapasukan ako ng daliri, Pag bored ako, ako’y madalas mong lapirutin. Si Mr. Right Guy lagi nakakama sa akin.

Answer: Wedding Ring

Bugtong: Ang mukha’y parang tao, magaling lumukso.

Answer: Unggoy

Paborito mo akong paglaruan tuwing gabi sa kama. Wag mo akong gamitin oras ng trabaho ha. Ipahawak mo lang ako sa mga taong mahalaga.

Answer: Cellphone

Kadiri ba talaga ako lunukin? Sige, idura mo na! Lagi mo na man akong dinudura eh.

Answer: Toothpaste

NETIQUETTE

Internet Etiquette - 10 Rules of Netiquette

 1. When typing never write in all capital letters. That is shouting. People don’t like it when you shout at them in person. And they sure don’t like when you shout at them on the net!

2. Don’t plagiarize. Someone spent a long time coming up with their content. When you borrow something from someone, give them the credit. Site their name or their site. Give the site when you have gotten your information.

3. Use proper quotes and always use the whole quote. Don’t take quotes out of context and don’t be selective about which part of the quote you want to use.

4. Don’t gossip and keep personal information personal. Don’t tell stories that you don’t know for a fact to be true. And often, just because it’s true, doesn’t mean that it needs to be repeated.

5. Don’t steal those photographs off the web even if they are a perfect fit for what you need. Chances are they are copyrighted and someone spent a long time putting that together. Get permission and give credit where credit is due.

6. Watch your language. No potty mouths.

7. Be patient with internet newbies. Know that they are just learning like you did once upon a time.

8. No spamming. Remember that spam is unwanted electronic messages or sending the same electronic message over and over. This can get you in a lot of trouble on some sites and as a general rule it just irritates everyone else.

9. If you are using a header (such as in an email) make sure your content really pertains to the header. You must admit it would really stink if the header said something about football, for example, and the email was really about your newest and greatest business idea. Just stay on topic and the problem is solved.

10. Avoid overuse of emoticons. You know... those cute little smiley faces. They really lose their cuteness when overused and tend to irritate people.

ICT EMPOWERMENT TECHNOLOGY

Information and communications technology (ICT)

 is an extended term for information technology (IT) which stresses the role of unified communicationsand the integration of telecommunications (telephone lines and wireless signals), computers as well as necessary enterprise software, middleware, storage, and audio-visual systems, which enable users to access, store, transmit, and manipulate information.

The term ICT is also used to refer to the convergence of audio-visual and telephone networks with computer networks through a single cabling or link system. There are large economic incentives (huge cost savings due to elimination of the telephone network) to merge the telephone network with the computer network system using a single unified system of cabling, signal distribution and management.

However, ICT has no universal definition, as "the concepts, methods and applications involved in ICT are constantly evolving on an almost daily basis." The broadness of ICT covers any product that will store, retrieve, manipulate, transmit or receive information electronically in a digital form, e.g. personal computers, digital television, email, robots. For clarity, Zuppo provided an ICT hierarchy where all levels of the hierarchy "contain some degree of commonality in that they are related to technologies that facilitate the transfer of information and various types of electronically mediated communications".Skills Framework for the Information Age is one of many models for describing and managing competencies for ICT professionals for the 21st century.

The phrase "information and communication technologies" has been used by academic researchers since the 1980s, and the abbreviation ICT became popular after it was used in a report to the UK government by Dennis Stevenson in 1997, and in the revised National Curriculum for England, Wales and Northern Ireland in 2000. But in 2012, the Royal Society recommended that ICT should no longer be used in British schools "as it has attracted too many negative connotations", and with effect from 2014 the National Curriculum uses the word computing, which reflects the addition of computer programming into the curriculum.

The money spent on IT worldwide has been most recently estimated as US $3.5 trillion and is currently growing at 5% per year, doubling every 15 years. The 2014 IT budget of US federal government is nearly $82 billion.IT costs, as a percentage of corporate revenue, have grown 50% since 2002, putting a strain on IT budgets. When looking at current companies' IT budgets, 75% are recurrent costs, used to "keep the lights on" in the IT department, and 25% are cost of new initiatives for technology development.